Who is buying what: 50 Cent Rolls 300 Million Deep

By Guest Writer: Paul Lakin

50 Cent is captivating – the mix of that overblown menace that rapidly approaches camp with the “You’re one of us, we accept you!” lyrics that talk about having fun, big cars, drugs, etc. In his videos, there’s something downright folksy about the way his jovial explanations of how he’s a cold-blooded killer out to put the rap game in a choke-hold flow seamlessly into how down “we” are with one another.

This style, is to being menacing, what pop music is to being in love. It’s easy-serve aggression. You can pop the top off a can of 50 Cent and be straight for your 9-to-5. This is menace you can drink, blasting in the car on your cell on the way to work, cutting people off and being a fantastic danger to yourself and others, because you couldn’t actually be aggressive at home or at your job. Hell, you and your boss might commiserate about how pimpin’ ain’t easy, but it’s good.

50’s producer, Eminem, might well ask:

“Whatever happened to whylin’ out and being violent? Whatever happened to catchin’ a good old-fashioned passionate ass-whuppin’ and getting your shoes, coat, and your hat tooken?”

So it’s crucial that 50 Cent’s menace is always, always directed towards the rap game, wack MCs, stank-ass hoes, etc. The point is, 50 Cent likes all his listeners! None of the men listening are wack! They’re brilliant, amazing because they’ve bought his CD. None of the women listening are stank-ass hoes! They’re brilliant, amazing because they’ve bought his CD. He’s not rapping about any woman who’d listen to his raps. It’s those crap rappers he can’t stand because they’re not buying shit.

Rap has become the Cheesecake Factory of music. I.e. the appeal of it is being told about an experience you’re not actually having. The fact that you’re not having the experience is the appeal. Disney vincit omnia.