Concert Onsales: 311, Jonas Brothers, Santana, Sheryl Crow, more

Why the frown, young man? I say, what is there to be sad about? Gas is cheap, the economy is booming, mission’s have been accomplished, and let’s not forget about all the great programming on TV. It’s all hunky dory. Now, how about we see what’s on the tele

Oh wait, no, damn, I just turned on the news. In actuality gas is sucking us dry, the President isn’t even acknowledging that an economy exists anymore and the price tag of the war is now approaching those funny numbers you used to yell out as a kid when you want to make something sound really expensive. Argh, this is just brutal, man. And there isn’t even anything good on TV anymore (”Dancing With The Stars”? Jesus, Bill Hicks was right!).So what are we to do, people? Well, if you have a little spending cash left there is nothing better in my book than going out to see a live music event. It gets your heart pumping, you get to sing along really loud, maybe fight someone in the pit and who knows, maybe your friend will bring a really hot girl you’ll fall head-over-heels for.

Here is a taste of a few shows going on sale this weekend:

• As they do every year around this time, 311 are heading back out on the road for their annual summer “Unity” tour. This year’s special guests are rapper/ reality star Snoop Dogg and recent Police openers Fiction Plane. 311 and Snoop Dogg in the same venue? Wow, “Who’s Got the Herb” indeed. The tour hits Verizon Wireless Amphitheater on June 28^th and tickets go on sale Saturday at noon.
• Also coming to Verizon are teen pop sensations and all around squeaky clean guys, The Jonas Brothers. The band plays Verizon on July 12^th. Tickets go on sale Saturday at 10 am . I’m guessing it will sell out but I’m not quite sure how long it will take before these tickets are gone.
• Guitar legend and Grammy darling Carlos Santana plays the Nokia Theater October 2^nd. Tickets go on sale Monday at 10am.
• Speaking of getting Grammy’s on name recognition alone, Sheryl Crow is coming to town with Rocca DeLuca and the Burden on June 11^th at the Greek Theater. Tickets go on sale at Saturday at 10am.
• In a sign that there are just too many damn festivals, “Crue-Fest” is coming to the living- hell known as The Hyundai Pavilion on August 2^nd. If you’ve never been to this venue in Devore imagine 65,000 people in the middle of nowhere where it is 96 degrees with one lane of traffic in and one lane of traffic out. Then imagine they charge you $5 for water. Anyway, the festival features performances by Motley Crue (obviously), Papa Roach, Buckcherry, Trapt and Nikki Sixx’s side project SIXX: AM. Besides maybe Papa Roach, I’m completely out on this one. Tickets are on sale now and cost between $30-$95.
• From the creators of Warped Tour and Taste of Chaos comes the alternative metal spectacular The Rockstar Mayhem Festival. The shows solid line-up is anchored by Slipknot, Mastodon, Dragonforce and, ummm, Disturbed on the main-stage, while Underoath and Machinehead headline the side stages. The tour stops at The Hyundai Pavilion (there are those ugly words again) on July 13^th. Tickets are between $20-$50 and go onsale Saturday at 11am.
• Finally, Matchbox Twenty will headline a show on July 31^st at the Pacific Amphitheater. Tickets for that go on sale Saturday at 10am. Wow, you can pick up Matchbox Twenty and Slipknot tickets on the same day. What a Saturday!