A Letter From The Challenge of Feral Green

Last month we featured Catherine Feeny and The Challenge of Feral Green for one of our Garden Parties on BeatCrave. The two gave one of the most heartfelt and beautiful performances I have ever seen while in the middle of what would soon be a 43 stop tour of performing in peoples living rooms. When I heard about how and why they were on this tour, I was blown away.

They managed to pay for their gas with hand drawn CD cases that they would sell in order to get to their next gig. Although I would have loved to tell you more about what I heard, the only way to truly appreciate the spirit of what these two artists accomplished, is to hear it from them. We asked Sebastian, more commonly known as The Challenge of Feral Green, if there was anyway we could write about his experiences on the road and he being the kind man that he is, obliged.

All of the below was written by The Challenge of Feral Green and left unedited by myself. Enjoy!

It’s coming up to two months now since we, Catherine Feeny (my lover, soon to be second wife and the inspiration behind my return to faith in music as a pure art form, some 4 years ago) and I (the obliquely named ‘The Challenge of Feral Green’) set off on this enthusiastically and idealistically conceived trip into and around a troubled and transitioning America.

Now, after many glorious and fulfilling and a few painful and disturbing nights, my ego and heart are in tatters – both stretched and bloated to bursting – then burst and reinflated so many times that they despair of their keeper and punish me for taking them on this wild trip… but like ungrateful children, I feel in the fullness of time they will thank me for this force-fed growth period – this steep learning curve to weathered maturity.

I’m thirty years old and I’ve just  driven 12,000 miles in a shitty (but loved) car – with no money and few possessions to my name… all to play to a handful of people a night, in living rooms of all shapes and sizes. I’ve been signed to four different record companies in the 9 years I’ve been a “professional” musician and have been lost in more mazes, personal and professional, than I can even count….. Am I lost again?

There was a time I considered myself retired – or maybe defeated is a better word. Sure, I still produced records for artists I believed might survive the maze integrity intact, Catherine being one, and a few that record companies sent me that had no integrity in the first place. I also wrote songs for folks who needed them. But my dream of performing was crushed.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t sing or didn’t have that desire to be seen, understood and above all loved (a desire that has burned inside me, shamefully human, since I was born). It’s just that I felt crippled and destructive, angry and dismissive, almost every time I so much as spoke to anyone in the music business… other than Artists.

So, Artists it was then, that I took my inspiration from.

Filled with love for the purity I found in them, my spirit as an artist re-awakened. In honor of that purity and my new inability to give one more shit about a business I now saw (perhaps one-sidedly) as ineffectual and laden with more middle men and ego driven bullshit than any business (let alone a supposedly creative one) could withstand, I decide that I would find a way to circumnavigate the beast – to make Art for Arts sake again and reach what people I could by what ever means I could now handle.

MySpace was there at the right time and I (along with every other musician in the known world, it seems) saw it as a beautiful opportunity to make available  just about anything I wanted to say musically to anyone who might care, with no one to even suggest that it be remixed!! And some people actually did seem to care. And I found other music there, that I actually cared about too… so I wrote messages.

‘Myself and the awesome Red Cassette (see my top friends) want to come and play a show for you plus your friends and family…..in your living room…… what do you say? : )”

There followed many questions; no sorrys; no rooms; dissolving maybes – and 8 shining, beautiful, faithful and enthusiastic YESes.

So, two English men, myself and Red Cassette (see my top friends) were off on a month-long, horribly disorganized, impractically booked and almost prohibitively expensive road trip of a lifetime across America… why? Because fortune and good times favor the brave! And it was everything we’d hoped for, a real life adventure story with a thousand thrillingly intricate pitfalls and victories.

News spread, even as we toured, and 8 become 15. Then on this tour with Catherine, 15 become 43 spread over two months.

Just for the sake of clarity, let me explain, this was not a tour involving a well-established circuit of basement, house and garage DIY venues, hosted by people who do this stuff once a fortnight. Most of these shows were booked with people as green as ourselves. I’d say 95 per cent of the people who hosted the shows for us had never even been to a house show before, let alone hosted one. Many outside of the music metropolises and hippy communes had never even heard of the concept. So we were all in it together. We also played completely acoustic – no microphones or amplifiers – nothing filling the rooms but hands, voices, ears, hearts and minds… and most importantly, enthusiasm – a very pure form of love indeed.

I could write you some stories!! Stories of the hundreds of beautiful (sometimes crazy) individuals we met and came to love; of documentary film crews; of the incredible variety of vistas and environments (outdoor and indoor!!); of election night in Arkansas or tantric sex seminars in Arizona; of a jaw-dropping look at American culture in all it’s shame and glory, from the inside and from all its many sides… maybe one day I will : ) But for now, let me say this. If you can imagine the variety of experiences this kind of tour can bring, then you have a better imagination than me!! I was surprised pretty much daily by the whole thing. I’ll probably be processing what I learned on this tour for the rest of my life.

Just so you know, if you’re not a musician and don’t plan to do living shows, it gets a bit more instructional from here on out.

Things to keep in mind

All I knew about playing living rooms before I started was that Jacob Golden had done it. While that was good enough for me, I may have benefited from the following friendly advice. Here’s a small sample (in no particular order) of what I’ve learned – sometimes the hard way…

Have no preconceptions and judge no book (night, person or place) by its cover… shows that seem like they’re gonna be crap can turn out great and shows that seem like they’re gonna be great can turn out shit. If you’re a control freak who wants predictability or even a little fussy about the stage time or the rider, THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. You will most likely never get what you expect and often more than you bargained for. One night you’ll have a deeply artistically and personally rewarding night, but there’ll be tumble weed in the tip jar… the next night will be like sucking blood from a stone and people will give you the shirt off their backs! Every person, show or experience has a different energy to exchange and a different way to feed you. Some will give wisdom, some will give love, some will share their own gifts, some will give money, hell, some will give food. These things will come in marvelous combinations – take all as part of the beauty and variety of the whole.

Share the spotlight… take your ego out of it!!  If you get 10 other people from the crowd to sing a song and therefore get to sing only a fraction of your own songs, then so be it – if you’re good, you will be recognized for it. Relax, you’ve made a great night happen and expressed yourself – people were entertained, but also involved, and your lack of attention seeking, show boating, ego bullshit will be respected and hopefully inspirational to others. Of course, occasionally you’ll have to deal with a few desperadoes who want the night to revolve around them, but try and be understanding. Their behaviour is born of the same pathetic desire to be seen and loved as you have inside yourself and there misbehaviour will ultimately not be rewarded… in a spiritual sense.

Be self aware… I don’t care how good you are on your instrument or how poetic and profound your lyrics may be – watching anyone play their songs eventually becomes tedious for even the most hardened of music fans. No one wants to hear everything you ever wrote on a night out!!! Accept it. That’s one reason why it pays to take another performer along with you. Besides the obvious benefits of camaraderie and mutual support, if someone thinks you’re boring and you suck – and regardless of your swollen self-image, someone will – at least they could still have a good night watching your mate. Everyone wins and that’s the main thing. Again, try and take your ego out of it. Your life and the show will be better.

M a k e    y o u r s e l f    u n d e r s t o o d… Make sure you tell people to advertise to their friends that this is a show, as opposed to a party…. although a party inevitably happens… if they turn up expecting a party, they’ll be impatient and understandably disrespectful to the sap singing his heart out by the mantelpiece or in front of the flat screen. Also if you expect people to make a donation or buy a CD, get the hosts to let their friends know in advance… who wants to be begging for change at a show where no one has brought any money? Personally, I never touch bank notes during a living room show. I find the exchange of money distancing and embarrassing for all concerned. I want the people I talk to to know that I’ll pay them the same attention and respect whether they’ve tipped nothing or a fortune. Or maybe I want not to know, so I can treat all people equally. Either way, any money people choose to give goes straight into a basket anonymous and free from judgement even when it’s a CD sale – and I like it that way.

Take your time and give your time… Breakfast the day after the show or a walk at a local beauty spot the morning before can be the best part of the whole experience and the time when a real friendship with the host and their friends or family can be formed. Without this, things can become the homogeneous conveyor belt that any tour usually at times becomes. This kind of touring is something special, because you’re getting a chance to see into peoples lives and communities, not just the local venue and hotel bar. Red Cassette and I benefited even more for our super light schedule – we did everything from climbing mountains to shooting guns and receiving glorious holistic massages, because we had time to kill… or I should say spend. A day off is never a day wasted when you have a new and unfamiliar place to explore with new and unfamiliar people :  )

That’s about all I can think of right now – Anyone is welcome to write to me with questions or advice and insights of their own – I always do my best to write back, but please be patient, I like to play music as well as write e-mails : ) write to: Feralgreen@hotmail.com Please support or take part in this particular revolution – reclaim music from the music business and the media and bring it back into the home… Oh, and while you’re at it, boycott corporate supermarket chains and buy from local business owners where ever possible – music is not the only art form and part of community life suffering in the modern age…. you should know the name of the person who passionately bakes your bread too ; )

Much Love

The Challenge of Feral Green