Music Editorial: Concert Tickets and Being The Turnip

You’ve heard the line “you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip”.  It’s an old phrase that means that you can’t get from someone what they aren’t willing to give. The phrase has been thrown around  a lot recently when talking about the American consumer. Apparently we aren’t spending money anymore but instead keeping it between our mattress and planning our move out of the Dust Bowl (metaphorically speaking of course, I’m sure Oklahoma has more to offer right now then California… like a state budget and such).

Without piling more metaphors onto each other, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present myself as Mr. Turnip and on Friday, even though I’m out of a job and money is kinda tight, I found myself purchasing pricey No Doubt tickets through the Live Nation website. Even if he is watching his money, apparently you can squeeze blood from a turnip if the turnip is willing to overlook such things as service charges and a slightly inflated ticket fee.

Now, being a (formally) high volume ticket buyer (as much as twice a week at points), I would try to go around the Ticketmaster/ Live Nation ticketing system as much as possible. Let’s face it, Ticketmaster used to have a monopoly and it’s not like Live Nation is any better when it comes to prices (and god help us if they combine into some kind of Thundercats-like ticketing machine). $15 service charge per ticket is unacceptable, especially when some tickets cost as little at $15 to begin with. I try to hold off and buy at the venue as much as possible, especially if it is a smaller venue. Some venues even have their own online ticketing systems which only charge around $3 service charge per ticket, but those are few and far between now. I wanted to let as little blood as possible even when I had a job, because hell, money is money and I would rather have mine go to the band and the venue then Ticketmaster.

Then there are instances like No Doubt where tickets will sell out and the only option is getting the ticket’s via the Live Nation website. So, I swallowed my internal issues and bought the damn tickets through the website. Convenience charge and all the added charges cost me $15 a ticket. I accepted this, and automatically I became part of the problem. I gave in and because of that there is no reason for a ticketing company like Live Nation or Ticketmaster to ever change. Why would they change their ticket selling practices if we are willing to still buy their tickets with all those added costs? That’s like telling McDonald’s to stop selling fast food when they make billions of dollars a year. I’m sure they feel some guilt at what they are putting into the world’s stomachs, but why would they change their business structure and start selling tofu when their stores are full? Those people would just pick up and go to the Wendy’s down the street.

As  the proud owner of two $60 seats to see No Doubt on July 31st, this whole buying experience got me to thinking: despite my objections to the way that Live Nation/ Ticketmaster handles their onsales, the ridiculous services charges and the overall price of the seats (while lawn was $25, actual seats cost $60-$90), why am I willing to forgo all of my internal angst to buy these tickets? It’s because, like everyone else, as much as I bitch about it, if it’s the only option I will do it. What do you expect us to do, not see the bands we like? That’s what fuels these business. If no one would have bought the expensive No Doubt tickets then Live Nation would have had to take a look in the mirror and go “Fuck, this doesn’t work”, take a shot of whiskey and pull an all nighter trying to cut the charges. But instead, they are stuffing my precious funds into their bank and swimming in it Scrooge McDuck style (probably not swimming in it, but it’s a much funnier visual then it being put into some nationalized band).

As long as we are willing to pay the service fees then there is no reason for either Live Nation or Ticketmaster to change their act. They have found a way to make money on shows like this and in a free market economy like this you begrudgingly gotta respect that. To quote Apu from The Simpsons when he was scoffing at the ridiculously expensive prices at the Airport gift shop ”You magnificent bastards”. Even at $75-$105 (after service charge) a pop we are gonna fill up that venue.

The sad thing is that even if you did make a stand and passed on a show, there would be someone right behind you that really wants to see the band and IS willing to pay the cost. Venues only hold so many people, and with a band like No Doubt some people will be left in the cold. So unless you had some kind of mass protest of ticket prices, expect to see it stay about the same. Bands and venues are doing a decent job at keep prices somewhat sane, though it would be nice if the ticketing agencies could find a way to lessen the blow of the added ticket prices (one easy piece of advice would be to just add the service charge into the original ticket cost, I know it seems stupid but psychologically it would lessen the blow of seeing a $25 ticket become a $45 ticket).

So look, this isn’t a plea for concert goers to accept Ticketmaster and Live Nation and embrace them with open arms. Frankly they will see a hit this year and they need to find a way to work on these ticket charges. They got cocky and that always leads to a downfall, eventually. I guess the point is that even in these times of job losses and twenty year stock market lows, turnips are still willing to give their blood for a band they want to see. And even if one isn’t, there are people lined up behind them to take their place. And until that changes don’t expect huge changes in the industry. Also, as long as we are willing to pay $60-$90 for the privilege of having a seat at a No Doubt show, don’t expect the band to offer a saner price (though, in their defense, $25 for a lawn ticket is fairly reasonable.

So while I may be skipping Coachella this year for the first time in six years due to a lack of funds, I’m sure someone will be right behind me, willing to give their blood for the opportunity. Enjoy Girl Talk, my friend.

Is anyone else skipping Coachella? And what overpriced tickets have you bought lately?