Musicians That Look Like Jesus

If you could have any one thing similar to the iconic Jesus Christ, what would it be? His miracle abilities? His parents? His followers? If any of these things were actually attainable, musicians would probably be all over it, but instead they have to settle for looking like the guy (mostly thanks to a long unkempt beard).

In order to celebrate Easter, which is coming up this week, below are several musicians (past and present) who have stood out as being living Jesus-mirrors.

(Why on earth would they put their faces through such visual torture? Hell, if I know.)

1. John Lennon

First, we have the most obvious: John Lennon. He was the singer of some little band from the 60′s called the Beatles. His likeness was so uncanny that many believed him to actually be God. Crazy, I know. But it gets even better. His choice for donning the Jesus look came after he made the off-handed remark that the Beatles were “bigger than Jesus.” Apparently, he must have felt that the only way to prove that to the American public was by actually becoming Jesus. Incredible.

2. Warren Ellis

This bearded man may be the farthest removed, stylistically, from Christ. Clean faced when he played violin with the Dirty Three, he had added the beard with the conception of the Nick Cave side project Grinderman (in which he plays the guitar). It’s as though picking up the guitar had somehow shoved the hairs of Jesus out of his chin. In any case, he definitely rocks out harder than any Jesus could.

3. Brandon Flowers

This college drop out, sings for the Killers. I hardly think that Jesus would condone such a hedonistic band name. Anyway, Flowers is Mormon hence going for the “Mormon Jesus” look. Though the facial hair seems to have been just a phase, I hope he brings it back. There aren’t enough musicians going for the Mormon one.

4. Jim Morrison

Morrison’s beard came to him in a troubling time. He became something of a hermit and was quite depressed. Years of living a life of sin and Rock n’ Roll had pushed him to look deep in his soul. I believe this is were he found his beard and moustache. It must have been the only thing comforting him in his final days. It is worth noting that Morrison died looking like Jesus.

5. Dan Auerbach

Auerbach is the guitarist and singer for the band The Black Keys. Without the Jesus look I don’t think he would have been able to perform the miracle of reviving the Blues. He’s also the happiest looking Jesus on the list. I bet this is what Jesus looks like when he plays tag.

6. Sam Beam

This singer/songwriter really went for it and I gotta say, I’m impressed. The Jesus Factor on him is off the charts. Iron and Wine is his stage name, and though he credits the name to some diet supplement, you have to wonder. Jesus did change water into wine, and I’m pretty sure he was crucified with iron nails. Smells like more than a coincidence.

7. Moondog

Known as “The Viking of 6th Avenue,” this blind avant-garde composer lived on the streets of New York City for about two decades. His songs range from being complete ambiance to intricate arranging. If you like weird music this is definitely the guy for you. Being that he gave up earthly possessions and lived on the land, concentrating solely on his calling, I would say Moondog knew what he was doing with all that facial hair. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he would usually wear viking horns and carry a wizard staff, more people might have seen him as the face of God instead of a bum.

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