Sigh… Although there are plenty of music artists out there reinventing the wheel with their talent we can’t really say Ke$ha supports this theory. With a sorority anthem for the hit, “TiK ToK,” she became one of the record breaking artists in regards to digital sales and also managed to stay on top of the charts for numerous and consecutive weeks. However, there isn’t much (if any) substance in her music.
Sure, we all like to listen to songs that are just fun and take our minds off of our current troubles, but most music fiends are music fiends because they’ve found something that is great to listen to, meaningful, layered, and rich in musicality – music that lasts.
Ke$ha once told the LA Times that her music is for everything against the pretentious hipsters who reside in Echo Park. We’re well aware that “hipsters” can be pretentious but it doesn’t mean she had to waste people’s time and money so producers can churn out songs for her that contain the words, “Blah, Blah, Blah” and phrases like “I threw up in the closet and I don’t care.”
Whether you’re a punk rocker or a classical music enthusiast, you’ve probably been confused by some of Ke$ha’s lyrics at some point. Most of her lyrics are out of left field and seem to have no purpose. Even General Larry Platt‘s “Pants on the Ground” had a message. To help prove our point, we’ve found Matt Stopera‘s collection of some of the worst Ke$ha lyrics. Take a look at these ten lyrics and try to tell us Ke$ha isn’t completely irrelevant to anyone who’s not a 16 or younger or not in a sorority.
1. “I threw up in the closet / And I don’t care.”
From the song: “Party at a Rich Dude’s House”
If this were another one of Ke$ha’s glitter-filled music videos, we imagine there would be a scene where she literally throws up in a closet and laughs about it. Embarrassing and funny drunk moments happen to everyone, but did she have to be so literal because that’s all she has to offer?
2. “Boots and boys / They bring me so much joy / I wear ‘em both so pretty as I walk in the city / Boots and Boys”
From the song: “Boots and Boys”
First off, boys and joy isn’t exactly a rhyme. Secondly, only amateur musicians talking about “wearing” the opposite sex as apparel, but what do we know? She wears “em both so pretty!”
3. “Stephen, Stephen / Why won’t you call me? / Stephen, Why won’t you call me?”
From the Song: “Stephen”
We don’t know who this Stephen guy is, but if Ke$ha’s as needy in real life as she is in this song we all probably know why he’s not calling her back. That and he’s probably sick of getting glitter on all his clothes.
4. “Your love / Your love / Your love / Your love/ Is my drug / I like your beard”
From the song: “Your Love Is My Drug”
What’s her drug? Oh, “your love.” You just better make sure your love is better than your beard. She sneaked that lyric in for a reason, boy.
5. “And now we lookin’ like pimps / In my gold Trans-Am / Got a water bottle full of whisky / In my hand bag / Got my drunk text on / I’ll regret it in the mornin’ / But tonight / I don’t give a / I don’t give a / I don’t give a”
From the song: “Take It Off”
If you’ve had the fortunate experience of never hearing this song, it’s about a glory hole. If you don’t know what a glory hole is, you can look that up in Urban Dictionary. However, we have to say we wouldn’t be surprised if Ke$ha and her entourage really did roll around in a gold Trans-Am, because they “don’t give a, don’t give a, don’t give a”…
6. “I’m pissin’ in the Dom Pérignon / (Come on. Let’s do it.)”
From the song: “Party At a Rich Dude’s House”
That rich dude is going to be pissed once he realizes he’s drinking Ke$ha’s urine, to say the least. This lyric is just ridiculous for her mere coaxing. A lot of pop artists try to be a little riské and entice listeners or the opposite character into doing things with them, but encouraging people to go in a Dom Perignon champagne bottle? Come on, now.
7. “Boy come on get your rocks off / Come put a little love in my glove box / I wanna dance with no pants on / Holla!”
From the song: “Blah Blah Blah”
Holla! Wait, did she just call her lady parts a glove box?
8. “Cause the sun is coming up / And oh my God, I think I’m still drunk / Where’s my coat? / Where?”
From the song: “Party At a Rich Dude’s House”
We’re really hoping this isn’t her next single because this is the third awful lyric from “Party At a Rich Dude’s House.” When was the last time a singer has directly told you she thinks she still drunk and then goes off into some short attention span question about the location of her coat? Must find Ke$ha’s coat!
9. “And now my heart is broken / Like the bottles on the floor / does it really matter? / Or am I just hung over you?”
From the song: “Hungover”
Apparently, Ke$ha’s thing is partying and getting wasted but can she really make a second album full of songs that talk only about this subject again? It gets old really fast especially when paired with horrific wordplay.
10. “Don’t be a little bitch with your chit chat / Just show me where your dick’s at”
From the song: “Blah Blah Blah”
Commanding women can be sexy to some guys but there’s nothing like that phrase which says you’re easy. Or is Ke$ha a maneater? Are they willing to forgive her for using the limp, swinging, robot arm so many times in her “TiK ToK’ dance and go with it? Perhaps, but we’d be a little more cautious…
Those are our reactions to Ke$ha’s top ten dumbest lyrics. What are yours?
You can find a corresponding photo for each lyric in Matt Stopera’s collection here.
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