The Top 10 Dumbest Ke$ha Lyrics
By Seraphina L.
Sigh… Although there are plenty of music artists out there reinventing the wheel with their talent we can’t really say Ke$ha supports this theory. With a sorority anthem for the hit, “TiK ToK,” she became one of the record breaking artists in regards to digital sales and also managed to stay on top of the charts for numerous and consecutive weeks. However, there isn’t much (if any) substance in her music.
Sure, we all like to listen to songs that are just fun and take our minds off of our current troubles, but most music fiends are music fiends because they’ve found something that is great to listen to, meaningful, layered, and rich in musicality – music that lasts.
Ke$ha once told the LA Times that her music is for everything against the pretentious hipsters who reside in Echo Park. We’re well aware that “hipsters” can be pretentious but it doesn’t mean she had to waste people’s time and money so producers can churn out songs for her that contain the words, “Blah, Blah, Blah” and phrases like “I threw up in the closet and I don’t care.”
Whether you’re a punk rocker or a classical music enthusiast, you’ve probably been confused by some of Ke$ha’s lyrics at some point. Most of her lyrics are out of left field and seem to have no purpose. Even General Larry Platt‘s “Pants on the Ground” had a message. To help prove our point, we’ve found Matt Stopera‘s collection of some of the worst Ke$ha lyrics. Take a look at these ten lyrics and try to tell us Ke$ha isn’t completely irrelevant to anyone who’s not a 16 or younger or not in a sorority.
1. “I threw up in the closet / And I don’t care.”
From the song: “Party at a Rich Dude’s House”
If this were another one of Ke$ha’s glitter-filled music videos, we imagine there would be a scene where she literally throws up in a closet and laughs about it. Embarrassing and funny drunk moments happen to everyone, but did she have to be so literal because that’s all she has to offer?
2. “Boots and boys / They bring me so much joy / I wear ‘em both so pretty as I walk in the city / Boots and Boys”
From the song: “Boots and Boys”
First off, boys and joy isn’t exactly a rhyme. Secondly, only amateur musicians talking about “wearing” the opposite sex as apparel, but what do we know? She wears “em both so pretty!”
3. “Stephen, Stephen / Why won’t you call me? / Stephen, Why won’t you call me?”
From the Song: “Stephen”
We don’t know who this Stephen guy is, but if Ke$ha’s as needy in real life as she is in this song we all probably know why he’s not calling her back. That and he’s probably sick of getting glitter on all his clothes.
4. “Your love / Your love / Your love / Your love/ Is my drug / I like your beard”
From the song: “Your Love Is My Drug”
What’s her drug? Oh, “your love.” You just better make sure your love is better than your beard. She sneaked that lyric in for a reason, boy.
5. “And now we lookin’ like pimps / In my gold Trans-Am / Got a water bottle full of whisky / In my hand bag / Got my drunk text on / I’ll regret it in the mornin’ / But tonight / I don’t give a / I don’t give a / I don’t give a”
From the song: “Take It Off”
If you’ve had the fortunate experience of never hearing this song, it’s about a glory hole. If you don’t know what a glory hole is, you can look that up in Urban Dictionary. However, we have to say we wouldn’t be surprised if Ke$ha and her entourage really did roll around in a gold Trans-Am, because they “don’t give a, don’t give a, don’t give a”…
6. “I’m pissin’ in the Dom Pérignon / (Come on. Let’s do it.)”
From the song: “Party At a Rich Dude’s House”
That rich dude is going to be pissed once he realizes he’s drinking Ke$ha’s urine, to say the least. This lyric is just ridiculous for her mere coaxing. A lot of pop artists try to be a little riské and entice listeners or the opposite character into doing things with them, but encouraging people to go in a Dom Perignon champagne bottle? Come on, now.
7. “Boy come on get your rocks off / Come put a little love in my glove box / I wanna dance with no pants on / Holla!”
From the song: “Blah Blah Blah”
Holla! Wait, did she just call her lady parts a glove box?
8. “Cause the sun is coming up / And oh my God, I think I’m still drunk / Where’s my coat? / Where?”
From the song: “Party At a Rich Dude’s House”
We’re really hoping this isn’t her next single because this is the third awful lyric from “Party At a Rich Dude’s House.” When was the last time a singer has directly told you she thinks she still drunk and then goes off into some short attention span question about the location of her coat? Must find Ke$ha’s coat!
9. “And now my heart is broken / Like the bottles on the floor / does it really matter? / Or am I just hung over you?”
From the song: “Hungover”
Apparently, Ke$ha’s thing is partying and getting wasted but can she really make a second album full of songs that talk only about this subject again? It gets old really fast especially when paired with horrific wordplay.
10. “Don’t be a little bitch with your chit chat / Just show me where your dick’s at”
From the song: “Blah Blah Blah”
Commanding women can be sexy to some guys but there’s nothing like that phrase which says you’re easy. Or is Ke$ha a maneater? Are they willing to forgive her for using the limp, swinging, robot arm so many times in her “TiK ToK’ dance and go with it? Perhaps, but we’d be a little more cautious…
Those are our reactions to Ke$ha’s top ten dumbest lyrics. What are yours?
You can find a corresponding photo for each lyric in Matt Stopera’s collection here.
Saturday, March 6, 2010 1:45AM
They might be dumb, but I don't care. It's just good fun.
Saturday, March 6, 2010 9:35AM
Rose is an insanely talented writer, Stephen is a perfect song. Your Love is My Drug is a better song than Crazy, Ring of Fire, or Cold, Cold Heart. And I'll stand on the street outside Steve Earle's house in my stocking feet and say that.
Monday, March 8, 2010 2:34AM
She actually really does drive a gold trans am. This is all just her singing about her life. That's what's so hilarious.
Sunday, March 7, 2010 9:28PM
kesha is the worst thing ever.
Monday, March 8, 2010 7:07PM
Her lyrics are so demeaning and stupid!
Monday, March 8, 2010 7:37PM
Pointless lyrics that are helping create unrealistic expectations about sex and relationships.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010 3:42AM
I'm glad I am a diehard @ladygaga fan. At least her music makes sense and has some redeeming social value. Lady GaGa gets the message across that free love, unprotected sex, alcohol bingeing and drug abuse as lifestyles can lead to tragic consequences and I think her monsters hear the message loud and clear. I know I do. Ke$ha on the other hand seems to glorify all of the nasty things that can happen when we let our addictions control us.
Saturday, March 13, 2010 9:38AM
I am actually over music that is meaningful. Everyone is doing the same thing.. Most of today's pop songs relate to relationships and breakups, same old thing. This article basically stating that it is ok for artists to have a whole album about love, yet Ke$ha can't have an album primarily relative to party life style, which is probably more relevant when you are young. Ke$ha's music is different. It's not serious, but it is fun, catchy, upbeat and makes you feel good when you listen to it. That is what music should be. If anything, I think the lyrics are pretty fantastic. They are very clever. People are so critical of her, probably because they forget what they listen to music for.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 2:10AM
I read this because I knew I would find it an interesting read. First off, being a Ke$ha fan, I can still say this is funny. She is very talented, contrary to what most of you haters sitting around waiting to bash the newest thing just to feel like you belong somewhere, think. She’s young, wild, her self, experimental, honest, blunt, risk taking, fun, loud, obnoxious, … who isn’t when were in our late teens and early twenties? We do wake up wondering where our coats are, we do bring water bottles of booze and put em in our handbags, we do try on our clothes before going out and we wait around our phones for plans, we go to parties to get tipsy, we get hit on by old men (dinosaurs) and sometimes we get addicted to people it becomes an obsession… she’s relatable and much more lyrically on point than any Taylor Swift, “you belong with me” bull shit. So get over it haters, Ke$ha is here to stay. She’s fun, and makes music fun. Listen to her album and don’t tell me you have a reaction. That’s musics purpose. To make you talk, listen and react. My reaction when I hear Ke$ha is always, PARTY time.
Sunday, March 28, 2010 4:05PM
you all need 2 stop hating on ke$ha. i <3 her! her lyrics may be different but they are fun 2 jam 2 n the car
Friday, April 9, 2010 1:42AM
She just likes to drink and party, so fuck you guys!
Monday, May 3, 2010 9:56AM
[...] ridiculous pop songs of the decade. As you know, we’re not particularly fans of Ke$ha and her nonsense, but seeing well-known animated characters living out the lyrics of “TiK Tok” almost [...]
Monday, May 10, 2010 4:59PM
[...] with Nashville’s scene are also raising the awareness for the flood relief. Popstar Ke$ha may sing about peeing in Dom Pérignon bottles but she actually has a lot of history with the city as her mom used [...]
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 5:07PM
She will be dead of an overdose soon, thank god
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 9:27AM
I will always love Lady Gaga till the end full out fan for her even got a tattoo, but as KeSha is so opposite I still think she is pretty talented, I don't think she realizes that she's "glorifing" these bad habits but although singing it because it so happens to be fun to sing about. Her music is upbeat and technoyy, that is what artists do attract listeners and that's exactly what her music does; it got my attention
Friday, August 6, 2010 9:53PM
People supporting kesha (I refuse to put any symbol in that name) are just as dumb as her lyrics. She has absolutely no talent. I feel like very few people appreciate good music now-a-days. I'm 22 and like to have a good time- but music today is so crappy. Kesha is the epitome of horrible music- sticking up for her is just plain dumb.
Saturday, August 7, 2010 1:31PM
This is all pure BULL SHIT come on Ke$has lyrics are really good… your probably just some resented jealous guy!!! You shouldnt be such a bitch w ur chi chat…
Wednesday, August 25, 2010 2:25PM
"She's young, wild, her self, experimental, honest, blunt, risk taking, fun, loud, obnoxious, … who isn't when were in our late teens and early twenties?"
*raises hand high*
she sure as hell ain't here to stay. she's a washed up, no talent ass clown and she'll be lucky to have any publicity whatsoever for her next album.
In ALL honesty, I have never heard such a horrible excuse for an "artist." This isn't "art." This is tasteless, talentless, trashy, utter and complete shit.
Good article. Glad we can see how awesome of a role model this young woman is for us all… puking in closets… and not caring…
Sunday, August 29, 2010 6:00AM
i cant believe all u idiots who defend this crack whore. she is a fool and this fact is clear through her music. its sadly dissappointing how she tops the charts with this crap, and the youth of this nation eat it up like candy.
Friday, December 3, 2010 10:36AM
Anyone who uses the word "hater" must be mentally retarded.
Sunday, December 12, 2010 5:04PM
Lol at whoever said Lady Gaga’s lyrics have meaning. Her lyrics are even more asinine than Kesha’s.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010 7:38PM
Both are crap- one's a trashed idiot spewing banalities over stupid, derivative pop-wreckage demo-tunes, and the other is a mashed-up rip-off of both Madonna and Marilyn Manson, with equally pointless and useless songs. Dull, uninspiring, and nothing to write home about, considering both sound like everybody else doing electro-pop garbage… which seems to be everybody.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011 7:38PM
How does one "Zip your lips like a padlock"? (BLAH BLAH BLAH)
Sidenote: I love that the internet takes me somewhere interesting when I do a search on "asanine Ke$ha lyrics"
Sunday, March 20, 2011 12:13AM
Are you seriously THAT stupid?
Who the fuck cares? If you were making as much money on your records for saying that as she is, why would you care if some little nobody was dissing your lyrics? You could even say "I like mice," and merry christmas you've got yourself a whole load of money.
All in all, get over yourself. Just because you have a different taste in music and don't really like Ke$ha, then DON'T LISTEN. Wow, that was simple. Dumbass.
One other thing, stop sounding like a whinning little bitch. It looks bad. Makes you seem jealous. Which I don't think was your aim, but then again I don't really know what it was. You think she has dumb lyrics, yeah, I get it. But seriously, bet you couldn't do better.
Ke$ha isn't my favourite (yes that is correct spelling from where I come from), but I do like her stuff, then again I am pretty easy. I like basically everything – no joke – and I just don't understand people like you who think they have the right to do what you did.
Do us all a favour and get over yourself. Thanks.
Love,
Kathryn.
Saturday, March 19, 2011 11:20PM
Hey, what kind of music are you into? Just wondering, when people say "good music" I always wonder what their opinion of it is.
~Kathryn.
Saturday, March 19, 2011 11:21PM
It's what happens when someone shuts you the hell up.
I am not making this up, seriously.
~Kathryn.
Monday, March 28, 2011 3:12PM
@cram… Does it really make it hilarious that it’s about her own life or pathetic? I mean, we live in a sad society if people glorify stupidity and underachievement. I’m sorry but if that is her real life, I don’t care to hear about some gauche 20 something who does nothing but drive a poor white trash relic of the 70′s and get drunk all of the time, having promiscuous sex. The beats are fun but there is nothing fun about the lyrics…. I feel like the movie idiocracy is coming true. I feel slightly Sick to my stomach when I watch jersey shore. I mean those people are dense, promiscuous, not terribly intelligent, and gaudy. We make them famous by watching them. The sad part is that a lot of people really take it all seriously and emulate them. Kesha is no better. I have little faith in other 20-somethings and youth. Our future looks like a very idiotic, pop culture emersed, unintelligent, shallow world when the next generation takes over.
Monday, March 28, 2011 3:20PM
And lady gaga does have meaning to her lyrics. Her lyrics to so happy I could die talk about alcoholism and addiction. They talk about relationships, they talk about unrequited love. Most importantly the lyrics talk about challenging society and government , advocacy for equal rights, judgment and betrayal, etc. Wait for her new album. Never compare lady gaga to Kesha. If u do, u really are not perceptive and kind of dense about understanding the edgyness and rebellion.
Thursday, April 28, 2011 8:01PM
How in the hell is Lady GaGa brought up in a conversation about Ke$ha? Whether or not she writes lyrics that some people like, she makes them sound good. I'm sorry, but actually LISTEN to a Lady GaGa song, she used to not sing at all, but now she sounds like she is being pulled apart while singing. PAINFUL. Her songs don't really sound inviting, meaning they don't have too much replay value. Ke$ha is someone who doesn't really seem to be hurting when she sings, and don't seem to be trying to send you away. And, Lady GaGa rips off Madonna, Marilyn Manson, etc. No one singer I know is just a partier. At least Ke$ha is unique. " Take a look at these ten lyrics and try to tell us Ke$ha isn’t completely irrelevant to anyone who’s not a 16 or younger or not in a sorority." Well, I can say this proudly, KE$HA ISN'T COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO ANYONE WHO'S NOT A 16 OR YOUNGER OR NOT IN A SORORITY.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011 11:25PM
HATERR … ok let's start with the dumbest ladyCaCa lyrics _alejandro, alejandro, ale ale jandro , ale ale jandro , fernamdo , roberto _ohhh ohhh caugh in a bad romance ooooooohh ohh caugh in a bad romance_judas judaaaaas judas judaaaas judaaaas judaaaaas judaaas CaCa -.-!_poh poh poh poker face poh poh poker face MA MA MA MA_OMFG It doesn't finish with the stupid senseless gaga is a piee-o-sheeeeeeeeeeeeet!! _F–K YOU UGLIES_K$ RULEZZ
Monday, July 18, 2011 6:42AM
We can hate Kesha all we want just like how you fans can love her all you want as well.
You have fan forums and we have hate forums and right now, I'd like to say she's basically a talentless dumb girl that only made it to the infamous top by her slutty looks and slutty actions.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011 3:25PM
Sorry kid, try phrasing it better and someone might care.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011 3:29PM
I don`t think you get what this person was saying at all… You simply sound like some "whinning little bitch" fangirl (look up "whining"). You yourself stated not to listen if you dislike Kesha, so why read something if you don`t like it? And if you like everything, why fight for just this single page out of billions on the internet?
Seems awfully petty don`t you think?
Maybe you should get over yourself~