Because his band has absolutely no shame whatsoever, and quite possibly due in part to the fact that he’s an egomaniac verging on horse’s ass proportions (although Love Gun is still pretty badass), Kiss bassist/ huckster-in-kabuki-makeup Gene Simmons told the U.K.’s Daily Star that if his legendary cartoo… er, band were to ever take on an honorary fifth member, it would be pop cartoo… um, star, Lady Gaga.
According to Spinner, Simmons had this to say about Gaga:
“I love the vibe, the big mouth and the big visuals… She’s the most exciting thing to happen since us. She’s a female version of us.”
While I agree that Gaga shares a sense of the dramatic style-over-substance aesthetic (does this article mark the first time the words “aesthetic” and “Gene Simmons” have ever been seen together in print? Need to check in on that…) that Kiss has been at the forefront of for nearly forty years, imagining a female version of the copiously chest-haired, testosterone-fueled Kiss is a large enough Back to the Future II-styled paradox to explode my own head. Which, to be fair, would be a pretty cool stage effect to close out a Kiss show, since Simmons already spews fake blood over the front row. It’s all about the fans, you know.
Simmons seems to agree:
“One of the first things we learned was to treat the audience as the guv’nor… When they buy a ticket they become your boss. We just work here. She realizes that her fans deserve the best you got because they pay your wages.”
Now, do you think if we paid Gene Simmons enough money, he’d go away? Does that amount of money exist? And did I just create a “if a tree falls in a forest, and no one’s around to hear it…”-type of philosophical inquiry?
What do you think of Gaga as a descendant of Kiss’ musical legacy?