Because the self-congratulatory pop-cultural circle-jerk that is the MTV Video Music Awards was last night, in which celebrities joined together to celebrate being celebrities and award themselves thusly, I’m here to write something about it as opposed to, you know, anything substantive or meaningful in the music world.

But still—Katy Perry had Russell Brand’s face on her fingertips!  Lady Gaga made with the funny hat!  Taylor Swift desperately clung to last year’s Kanye controversy to distract from her alarmingly poor live vocals!  Eminem looked pissy and crossed his arms a lot!  How can one not be swept away by the pomp and production of such glitterati and anti-substance?

And, if anything summed up the hyper relevance of last night’s VMAs, it was the appearance of a 64-year-old Cher squeezing into some black leather and sequins to reference a video that was filmed 21 years ago and was cheesy even then.  Truly, MTV, you have found the pulse of our generation.

The aging vixen was there to present Lady Gaga with the Video of the Year Award for “Bad Romance,” and it makes sense in a prefabricated passing-of-the-torch kind of way, as both women made up for highly mediocre yet bizarrely popular dance music with an increasingly ridiculous and attention-getting series outfits and public displays of ‘outrageous behavior,’ all to distract from said tunes.  If for nothing else, though, Cher’s appearance may well have served as a warning for Gaga, that one day, she too will be pulled out of the mothballs, dusted off, and paraded  in front of a room full of celebs to hand a meaningless award to new pop starlet, while we at home flip back and forth from that to Vh1’s Behind the Music about Justin Bieber and how he overcame his addiction to crack and Skittles.

What do you think of Cher’s appearance at the VMAs?