Well, Christmastime is here, and you know what that means—in addition to eating a ton of food and opening a lot of gifts and avoiding annoying members of your extended family, it’s time to listen to lots of Christmas music. But, if you’re anything like us, you might be getting just a little tired of hearing “Jungle Bells” by Bing Crosby for 9,000th time, so we here at BeatCrave have done you a little favor, and whipped up a list of some of the most unusual holiday music ever released. Try these out these oddball X-mas jams, they’ll definitely cleanse your palette as far as holiday music is concerned (and most of them will also just horrify you).
5. Scott Weiland – The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
I don’t know about you, but when I think of Christmas, I think of one thing—classic holiday standards performed by a (formerly?) drug-addicted grunge singer doing his damndest to mimic Bing Crosby while recasting the songs as samba nova jams. Both a strange holiday soundtrack and good background music for a horrorshow scene like Christmastime at The Gap.
4. William Hung – Hung for the Holidays
Do I really need to explain this? Everyone’s favorite goofus reject American Idol cashes in on the last few seconds of his bizarre celebrity by recording a series of flat and atonal Christmas classics. Good for clearing out relatives and friends from your house when you’re ready to shut down your holiday party, as well as a great means of torturing your neighbors, Hung for the Holidays plays like an aural snuff film—more than a little disturbing, but somehow fascinating nonetheless.
3. David Hasselhoff – The Night Before Christmas
David Hasselhoff. Easy-listening versions of Christmas songs. What more do you want me to say here?
2. Afroman – A Colt 45 Christmas
In lieu of an actual review, I’d like to offer you a series of song titles from novelty rapper Afroman’s holiday disc:
“I Wish You Would Roll a New Blunt,” “O Chronic Tree,” and “Violent Night.” ‘Nuff said.
1. Various Artists – Christmas in the Stars: A Star Wars Christmas Album
Ever wonder what a cheesy Star Wars Christmas album from the early ‘80s would sound like? Especially if it was packed tight with sound effects from the films, along with voice-over narration from C-3PO (with a little help from R2-D2 and Chewbacca), and told the story of a droid factory that made toys for Santa? And featured the professional recording debut of Jon Bon Jovi on a song called “R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas?” No? Funny, no one else did, either.
What’s your favorite odd Christmas album?