Justin Timberlake Announces His Return To Singing And Dancing In Most Pretentious Way PossibleBy Travis Woods
Well, humanity, you can finally breathe a huge sigh of relief—the moment we’ve long been waiting for, that long ached-for time in human history is finally upon us: Justin Timberlake decided that he feels like releasing another album. Now, calm down, calm down. I know the initial instinct is to fall to your knees and begin babbling at the sky in tongues as tears slick your cheeks. But before you rightfully do so, please check out this video message from Justin, in which he explains his absence, and makes it clear that he simply couldn’t “torture” himself with more than two albums in a decade, and that “you have to wait for it.”
In a video message released to the world today, Timberlake is seen walking through a recording studio, explaining that music means more to him than any other person in the world, and so you really can’t ask for more than two albums a decade from him, as he is the one “that sits and is obsessive about it before you even get to hear it” and that he simply can’t “physically torture myself that much year in and year out” by releasing music any more than that, ok you guys? So get off his back ok? And just watch the video:
So there you have it—Justin is “ready.” He’s “ready,” you guys. It’s been six and a half years since he’s been paid millions and millions and millions of dollars to harmonize his vocals in a booth and then learn dance moves that he has to repeat every night, but he’s finally ready to do so, for the sins of humanity.
When the video is watched on Timberlake’s site, it finishes with a countdown clock that should release an announcement on Monday—could it be a new song, album or tour announcement? Only time, and the grace of Justin, will tell.
What do you think of the video?