The rapper known as Pitbull may be joining Glee. Typically, I like to start off a news post with a little joke, but I felt like that opening sentence just couldn’t be topped in terms of hilarity. Apparently, the rapper who nabbed the #1 spot on Billboard’s Hot 100 this summer with his hit “Give Me Everything,” is in talks to join the worst television show ever. So now you have another reason to watch.
In spite of the fact that he has a history which indicates nothing but rational, clear-headed thinking (minus, you know, that time his then girlfriend Rihanna looked at his phone and proceeded to viciously and repeatedly punch her in the face, bit her neck and ear, and then slam her face repeatedly against a car door; or that one time when a journalist asked him about the above incident and he destroyed a green room in hissy fit), Chris Brown went ballistic on Twitter last night when someone mentioned Rihanna, and then he attempted to delete his Twitter feed so no one could read his digital tantrum. Unfortunately, multiple websites saved the rant, in which Brown seems to indicate that it is people being mean to him that forces him to “spaz out” and beat his girlfriends.
Sexual reproduction—homo sapiens have been using this process of meiosis and fertilization to genetically further our species since we first originated in Africa some 200,000 years ago. It is a method of reproduction that has generated such historically and culturally significant human beings as Gandhi, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, William Shakespeare, Adolf Hitler, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Miles Davis, Leonardo DaVinci, Joan of Arc, Louis Pasteur, and Charles Darwin. Further, it is a technique that produces 490,000 new babies every day, which equals roughly 179,000,000 new babies every year. And yet, somehow, despite the fact that this process has created nearly 100 billion lives since the dawn of mankind, I have to stop and write about the fact that Beyonce Knowles is knocked up.
Because, hey, who doesn’t think of vicious domestic assault and public temper tantrums in which chairs are thrown through windows when watching romantic comedies, Chris Brown has decided to punch his way into our collective hearts by staring in a rom-com.
Rihanna is being forced to defend her latest music video, “Man Down,” as it opens with a man being shot in the head, something that people with a lot of free time on their hands (aka, Parents Television Council) are decrying as “disturbing” and demanding that BET stop airing the clip.
Chris Brown may be shocked to find out that for once, he is in the headlines for a relatively good reason. Despite attracting negative media attention recently due to a violent outburst after his interview on “Good Morning America” last week, according to Contact Music, the young star’s album F.A.M.E. has reached the top spot on the charts. This is the first time Brown has had a number one album.
Don’t be surprised to find the reviews a little skewed this week. I never thought I’d be compiling The Strokes and Chris Brown together under the worst of the week, but critics have done a pretty equal job trashing on both albums. The reviews look better as we venture into the world of Swedish rock and some oldie-but-goodie tracks that will bring you back to the 1980s.
Singer/ public pouter/ domestic abuser Chris Brown paid a visit to BET’s “106 & Park” stage yesterday to discuss his tearful BET Awards Michael Jackson tribute – a performance many said smacked of an artificial PR stunt – and to brutally punch his way back into our hearts remind his fans of his dazzling talents.
Last night’s BET Awards was filled with a ton of comeback performances which always make for a more exciting award show, even if the host is the lovely Queen Latifah. We must say even with all the unnecessary hoopla that was surrounding Justin Beiber this season, they booked some pretty great artists to show us what they got right now.
Kanye West triumphantly opened the show up with his new track, “Power,” which had him standing on top of a ridiculously tall mountain in the beginning. He’s always overcompensating for something but hey, at least, he didn’t grab any mics from teenagers onstage this time. (Although… it would have been fun to watch him make Justin Beiber and all his Beliebers cry.)
