Some might scoff at the idea of an upper-class white woman penning the upcoming N.W.A. biopic, Straight Outta Compton, but not me—upon hearing the news that Andrea Berloff will be writing the script to the film about the seminal gangsta rap outfit, I prefer to save my scoff-ery not for Berloff’s race (‘cause I’m advanced like that), but for the fact that her one major scriptwriting credit is for the terrible, terrible Hallmark-Card-in-film-form World Trade Center, the hyper-sentimental, borderline-insulting Oliver Stone film.

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A step-by-step guide to buying concert tickets this weekend:

1. Read this article.
2. Laugh at this article’s in-jokes and pop culture references.
3. Look up pop culture references.
4. Note ticket onsale times and go about your daily life.
5. Feed your dog.
6. Log onto Ticketmaster.com at onsale time and purchase concert tickets.
7. Complain about service charges being as much as actual ticket prices.
8. Be happy you got tickets, yet deep inside worry about if you can truly afford them.
9. Make peace with your inner self.
10. Enjoy concert.
11. Repeat.

Here is a list of highlighted concert onsale’s for this weekend:

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