Morrissey has cancelled all of the remaining dates on his current U.S. tour. Despite what you may think, the cancellation has nothing to do with rhinos or Beyonce‘s handbags; he’s just need to take a break. Also, The Strokes released a new music video for one of the songs off their upcoming record. And Yahoo! announced a brand new festival that’ll feature some pretty big names in hip hop.

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In a bit of sad news—as if there is any other kind with the miserablist singer—Morrissey was unfortunately forced to postpone several dates of his North American tour a few weeks ago.  The reason?  His mother had become ill and the singer rushed to be by her side, putting a slew of dates on hold.  Well, those of you who had planned on seeing the Moz, well, today your ship comes in.

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Amy Winehouse‘s cautionary tale is coming to the stage. A play, based on the singer’s life and music, is in the works and expected to open next year. Courtney Love is also heading to the stage. According to some guy she works with, she’s been thinking about putting together a Nirvana musical based on her life with Kurt Cobain. And Morrissey postponed the remaining dates of his North American tour. All that and more below.

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Look, we know—every year, almost like clockwork, rumors begin to swell that The Smiths will finally reunite, following their acrimonious break-up in 1987.  And, every year, those rumors are almost immediately—and rather derisively—swatted away by former Smiths frontman Morrissey (guitarist Johnny Marr can be a little nicer).  And it’s that time of year again—that’s right, a fresh batch of Smiths reunion rumors have leaked.  But this time (we know, we know), it looks like it may actually be happening.

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Morrissey is known for many things: excellent singing voice, stunning lyrics, powerhouse discography.  He’s also known for being a little, let’s say, outspoken about his worldview.   He’s famously feuded with such pop music hotshots as Elton John, Madonna, George Michael, The Cure’s Robert Smith, and many more.  He is an outspoken defender of animal rights and extraordinarily harsh critic of meat-eating.  Moreover, everything seems to just really, really piss him off.  Today in What’s Making Morrissey Mad This Week: the 2012 London summer Olympics.

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Morrissey is coming back to stages all over the U.S. He’s just announced a lengthy 33-date North American tour for this fall that’ll kick off in Boston on October 5th. During one of his stops, he’ll even join forces with Iggy Pop and The Stooges. Check out those dates below.

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Morrissey doesn’t like aging, and he believes he’s “aged a lot recently”. So, in lieu of that, the singer announced that he’ll be retiring from music in two years, at age 55. In a recent interview with the Malaysian culture website JuiceOnline, Morrissey said he plans to stop working in 2014.

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So… this should go over well.   Want to read the most offensive thing you’ll probably see all day—if not all week (I’d say all month, but I’m pretty sure that another celebrity will do something even dumber and more offensive by the end of the month—I mean, Lohan’s out of jail now, so it just stands to reason)?  Well, lucky us, Morrissey decided to let loose with something pretty horrible.

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Notoriously cranky rock curmudgeon (and not exactly China’s biggest fan) Morrissey recently posted a list of his thirteen favorite songs on Facebook in connection with his remastered, expanded “Everyday Is Like Sunday” single, which also features new artwork,” according to Stereogum.  Morrissey’s list:

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