Sexual reproduction—homo sapiens have been using this process of meiosis and fertilization to genetically further our species since we first originated in Africa some 200,000 years ago.  It is a method of reproduction that has generated such historically and culturally significant human beings as Gandhi, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, William Shakespeare, Adolf Hitler, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Miles Davis, Leonardo DaVinci, Joan of Arc, Louis Pasteur, and Charles Darwin.  Further, it is a technique that produces 490,000 new babies every day, which equals roughly 179,000,000 new babies every year.  And yet, somehow, despite the fact that this process has created nearly 100 billion lives since the dawn of mankind, I have to stop and write about the fact that Beyonce Knowles is knocked up.

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Hear that noise?  It’s the sound of MTV finally beginning the long, inevitable process of sighing before they finally raise their collective arms and shrug, admitting total cultural irrevelancy—as the network announced today that they simply cannot find anyone to host the MTV Video Music Awards this very weekend.

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The return of Beavis and Butt-Head is nearly upon us and now we get a better idea what the cartoon duo will be watching and subsequnetly commenting on. MTV president Van Toffler tells Rolling Stone the new series, debuting later this year, will be “very familiar to fans of the Nineties original.”

“I felt like there was a whole crop of new artists — and what the world sorely missed was the point of view that only Beavis and Butt-Head could bring.”

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For the first time, the mtvU Woodie Awards will be picking up their gear in New York City and carrying it to set up and broadcast the show in Austin, Texas. A big factor in this decision is SXSW‘s upcoming 25th anniversary as one of the most successful and helpful indie music festivals in the nation.  The show which has honored acts such as Gnarls Barkley, Matt and Kim, Death Cab For Cutie with awards has also boosted performances from indie acts in the past such as Lykke Li, Passion Pit and The Dead Weather.

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Grammy nominated dance punk artist, LCD Soundsystem, returns with another video for the track, “Pow Pow,” and it stars none other than Academy Award nominated actress Anna Kendrick from Up in the Air (or the Twilight series for you kids).

Created by seminal cinema and pop culture magazine MEAN (Music. Entertainment. Art. News.), it kicks off a series titled “Supervideo” which gives unique filmmakers the opportunity and artistic license to create a multitude of music video formats which includes everything from short form narratives to montages, animations, abstracts and more – all set to the freshest music. The first installment to the series presented by MTV, “LCD Soundsystem f/Kendrick,” is after the jump along with some more details!

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Throwing another entry into “The Universe Is Simply A Cruel, Meaningless Expanse of Pain and Nothingness” column, MTV is set to possibly restart the Punk’d prank TV show.  And, according to Billboard, instead of featuring Ashton Kutcher’s constant mugging and smarmy celeb hobnobbery, the new host could very well be… Justin Bieber (please, please God let this be a prank):

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No better time than the present for Vevo to push into MTV’s territory, better known today for low rent reality TV as opposed to music television; to be fair, MTV has launched numerous channels in the past that trade reality shows for actual videos. But no denying there has been a massive shift in MTV’s entertainment priorities over the years.

The NY Post reports that Vevo, a web-based, music-video service co-owned by major labels Universal, Sony and EMI, is planning to start a TV network that would compete specifically with MTV’s music-video network, MTV Hits.

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Another year has gone by and and another batch of unnecessary awards shows have also occurred to capitalize on the teen market who ave no clue the “M” in  MTV used to stand for Music Television. Honing in on reality shows such as the filthy Jersey Shore and getting the best B-list celebrity talk show host to talk smack about A-list celebrities (via Chelsea Handler) basically sums up our vapid generation’s interest last night.

But hey, we know some of you were tuned in for the music. That is, whatever is left to be considered music. We’ve got every single VMA performance for you after the jump – but first – let’s take a moment of silence to bow our heads in shame in regards to Justin Bieber winning Best New Artist…

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It’s the morning after the 2010 MTV VMAs and Lady Gaga rules the headlines, collecting eight awards, including video of the year and, best female video and best pop video.

Gaga, whose numerous wardrobe changes included a dress and hat made out of raw meat, also nabbed VMAs for best dance video, best collaboration, best choreography, best editing and best direction.

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