A step-by-step guide to buying concert tickets this weekend:

1. Read this article.
2. Laugh at this article’s in-jokes and pop culture references.
3. Look up pop culture references.
4. Note ticket onsale times and go about your daily life.
5. Feed your dog.
6. Log onto Ticketmaster.com at onsale time and purchase concert tickets.
7. Complain about service charges being as much as actual ticket prices.
8. Be happy you got tickets, yet deep inside worry about if you can truly afford them.
9. Make peace with your inner self.
10. Enjoy concert.
11. Repeat.

Here is a list of highlighted concert onsale’s for this weekend:

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